Mar 17, 2011

Emotions (untitled)

I swim through a sea of emotions.
Tossed and turned.
No moorings.

In me.
I float on the gentle waves.

I have no words (untitled)

I have no words.


a forest of feelings

Where to begin to describe?

I have no words

I miss you (untitled)

I miss you.

What was is gone.
I've lost what we were,
What you were to me.
My star,
My guide,
My example,
My help.

I leaned on you.
Now, I stand on my own.
A good and wonderful thing.
I have strength within.

But I miss relying on you.

I delight in what is,
But I miss what was.

I needed someone (untitled)

I needed someone;
He was there.
I leaned;
He was there.
A friend?
He says.
What I know is,
He was there.
I needed someone,
And he was there.

I don't need you (untitled)

I don't need you.

I need to see beauty,
Like the beauty I've seen in you.
I need to feel alive,
Like I do when I think of you.
I need so much that I've found in you.
But it's not you that I need.

I don't need you.

A love so deep (untitled)

A love so deep
So strong
So pure.

Freely given.


My love for you.

Joy explodes inside me (untitled)

Joy explodes inside me.

No room
For all the joy.

Joy wells up,
Bubbles over,
Flows out to the universe
And back again.

Feelings strong (untitled)

Feelings strong
Now muted.
A roaring stream
Now a quiet river.

My inspiration is gone (untitled)

My inspiration is gone.
In love?
No more.
That love,
Risen out of
A sea of illusion,
Is gone.
He no longer fills my thoughts.
No anguish.
No highs.
A peaceful contentment
Is now mine.
No writing a poem
To wring out emotions.
When emotions settle, inspiration flees.

The Blue Sky


I wish there were not a cloud in the sky.
I love the blue sky,
But I hate the clouds.
The clouds want to cover the sky
And destroy the beauty of the blue sky.
God, don't let the clouds take over the sky.
Help the blue sky to fight the clouds
And let his beauty shine through.


Storm clouds are filling the sky.
The blue is disappearing.
God, why won't the blue sky ask you to help
him fight the clouds in his soul?
I love him.
I don't want him to fall.


The sky is cloudy,
But I'm not gonna cry.
A Voice has told me
He will be blue again,
And I patiently wait.

Scared (untitled)

Can I resist?
Do I want to?
How do I separate your call, Lord,
From Satan's illusion?

hate (untitled)



bottled up
held tight





He made me believe he cared (untitled)

He made me believe he cared.
He said he was my friend
... and I believed him.

Was it a lie?

Or are his feelings
as jumbled
as mine?

Was he lying to me,
or is he lying to himself?

Deception (untitled)

Beautiful lies.

I dared to hope.

... deceived.

The lies shatter.
I'm left alone.

Mar 15, 2011

I don't know how to feel (untitled)

I don't know how to feel.

Should I love him?
Should I hate him?

He makes me react.

in love

He makes me long for... something

For you, Lord.

He makes me fall in love with you.

passion (untitled)


letting go

Angry, so very angry (untitled)

Angry, so very angry.
Why am I so angry?
The anger consumes me,
Eats me up inside.
I hate him.
Why does it matter?
Why does he matter?
I hate him.

I don't hate him,
I can't hate him.
I hate how he makes me feel.
How do I feel?
I don't know, I don't know...
Confusion, anger, hurt, love

I don't want to like him.
I don't want to care about him.
Too hard.
I want to be friends.
I want him to go away.
He challenges me.
Do I want his friendship?
Yes... so very badly.
He hurts me...
His criticisms sting...
He doesn't understand.
And yet
We are not enemies.
We argue and fight,
Yet there is something there
I don't want to lose.

starting over (untitled)

starting over

a friendship intense
too close
too far

what next?
don't know
too confused
mixed up

starting over
at the beginning

Poem for Rudy

Sometimes I feel
Like I can't help liking you.
You tangle my emotions into knots.
You look so good to me,
And you seem so nice,
You seem the perfect guy.
If you weren't married
I'd probably fall in love with you.
Though I know that would be pointless anyway
Because you can't love me -- you don't know me --
And I don't really know you.
So that is why I can't love you,
And I must change my like
To the kind that isn't in conflict
With wanting so much for you,
And with my Christian beliefs.
(For you are married,
And I want you to be happy.)
But I want you to know
That I will always love you as a person,
And I think you're great.

a father figure (untitled)

a father figure
lost little girl cuddles in the arms of her daddy
absorbing his love

To America

Land full of nature.
Beauty anywhere you look.
America, I love you.

a beautiful gift (untitled)

a beautiful gift
someone to trust
I trusted him when I could not trust myself
someone to lean on
someone to believe in me
someone to love me
a shoulder to cry on

I like to think that man

I like
To think that man
Is really good inside,
For if he weren't the why would we
Be here?

Tangled Vines

tangled vines
weaving in and out of each other

where does one stop
and the other begin?

If men (untitled)

If men
Don't want to fight,
Then why do we build weapons?
And if indeed they want to fight,

I want your love (untitled)

I want your love
I want your attention

Your kindness feeds something in me
I am a hungry little bird, wanting more, always more

A touch fulfills
yet creates more need
leaving a bigger hole

When you notice me
I want you to notice me more

When you are caring
I want you to take care of me

I want you to be me
I want you to be my adult who takes care of me

I like to hear the sounds (untitled)

I like
To hear the sounds
Of nature in the Spring.
It makes me feel peaceful and
At home.

Prophet's Lament

No, Lord.
I don't want to.
I'm scared.
Share myself?
Share that?
It's too hard.
I can't.
But I have to.
I can't say no to you.
To lose you
would be the worst of all.
Yes, Lord.
I will.
For you.

The Song of a Little Bird

Sing little bird sing,
It makes the world seem better.
Sing your little song
And the world will sing along,
And our troubles go away.

Poem for Bob Walkenhorst

(This poem was written in 2005 and is now out of date in many ways.)

In the year 2002 I went and took a wee short trip
Up I-29, to the town of St. Joseph.
I discovered there a band that I thought was really good.
They called themselves the Elders and buy their CDs I would.

The guitarist, named Steve Phillips, well I thought was really great,
And I wanted to hear more but 5 more months I couldn't wait.
Of his former band I realized I must become a fan.
To buy a Rainmakers CD that soon became my plan.

So I sent to Steve an email, "Which album should I buy?"
"Flirting With the Universe" is what he did reply.
But I'd have to mail order, wait 2 months to get it in,
So I went to the used CD store and bought the CD Skin.

I listened with an open mind to all the songs I heard,
Not just to the music, but also to the words.
The message was intriguing, the music it was fine,
And I listened to it over again many many times.

I visited the message board to see just what was there.
I saw that Bob was playing live and noted when and where.
I thought I check it out and give Bob Walkenhorst a chance.
In the back I stood and then I soon began to dance.

Bob had a solo album that was new the week before.
I looked around to buy it and finally found it by the door.
I bought it, and I listened, and with it I did connect.
Bob Walkenhorst is someone I both relate to and respect.

An Irish pub that's called Molloy's is where Bob weekly plays.
Jeff Porter and Norm Dahlor are his bandmates on Wednesdays.
I soon began to go each week to hear Bob play and sing.
To listen and to dance at Bob shows is a wonderful thing.

They used to sit and play each show, but then one week they stood.
Now standing is the norm, but when they sit, well that's still good.
And Bob and Jeff with Gary and Pat play monthly weekend shows.
I hope it lasts for years and years, but the future no one knows.

Bob Walkenhorst is someone I look up to and admire.
His music touches my heart; my soul he does inspire.
The Tour That Goes Nowhere it is; Molloy's Pub is our home.
His fans and friends we'll always be, wherever we may roam.

When the birds fly north (untitled)

When the birds fly north
Their sweet, sweet sounds fill the earth
And brighten the world.

The power of music

I want to make love to you
I want to touch you and be touched by you
to kiss
to embrace
to... but no
That's not it.
I want... what?
Something of you,
in me
I want your music
The touch of your music in my soul
a guitar
a voice
a connection from you
out to the world
and reaching into my heart
a human connection through music

Dogwoods and redbuds (untitled)

Dogwoods and redbuds
Sprout flowers white and purple
And beautify earth.

No words (untitled)

No words.
I have no words.
How can I capture in a poem
My love for you?