I Will Never Lose You

I will never lose you.
Whatever happens,
Something of you remains
in me.
You've given me so much.
Those gifts are a part of me.
You are a part of who I've become.
And a part of my memories.
Thus, when you are gone from my life
You will still be with me.

Dancing on the Inside

Joy
I'm dancing on the inside
To be loved
Is the greatest gift of all

Contact

Contact.
To connect with another person.
The greatest human desire.
We each want it.
We each fail.

But, then,
The magical moment
When two separate people
Each deeply know something of the other
And find a unity alongside their separateness.
The greatest human desire,
To connect with another person.
Contact.

I miss you (untitled)

I miss you.

What was is gone.
I've lost what we were,
What you were to me.
My star,
My guide,
My example,
My help.

I leaned on you.
Now, I stand on my own.
A good and wonderful thing.
I have strength within.

But I miss relying on you.

I delight in what is,
But I miss what was.

I needed someone (untitled)

I needed someone;
He was there.
I leaned;
He was there.
A friend?
He says.
What I know is,
He was there.
I needed someone,
And he was there.

He made me believe he cared (untitled)

He made me believe he cared.
He said he was my friend
... and I believed him.

Was it a lie?

Or are his feelings
as jumbled
as mine?

Was he lying to me,
or is he lying to himself?

I don't know how to feel (untitled)

I don't know how to feel.

Should I love him?
Should I hate him?

He makes me react.

angry
alive
hurt
in love

He makes me long for... something

For you, Lord.

He makes me fall in love with you.

Angry, so very angry (untitled)

Angry, so very angry.
Why am I so angry?
The anger consumes me,
Eats me up inside.
I hate him.
Why does it matter?
Why does he matter?
I hate him.

No...
I don't hate him,
I can't hate him.
I hate how he makes me feel.
How do I feel?
I don't know, I don't know...
Confusion, anger, hurt, love
Love?
Desire?

I don't want to like him.
I don't want to care about him.
Too hard.
I want to be friends.
I want him to go away.
He challenges me.
Do I want his friendship?
Yes... so very badly.
He hurts me...
His criticisms sting...
He doesn't understand.
And yet
Somehow
We are not enemies.
We argue and fight,
Yet there is something there
I don't want to lose.

starting over (untitled)

starting over

a friendship intense
confused
too close
too far

what next?
don't know
too confused
mixed up

starting over
at the beginning

a father figure (untitled)

a father figure
lost little girl cuddles in the arms of her daddy
absorbing his love

a beautiful gift (untitled)

a beautiful gift
someone to trust
I trusted him when I could not trust myself
friend
someone to lean on
someone to believe in me
someone to love me
a shoulder to cry on

Tangled Vines

tangled vines
intertwining
intermeshing
weaving in and out of each other

where does one stop
and the other begin?

I want your love (untitled)

I want your love
I want your attention

Your kindness feeds something in me
I am a hungry little bird, wanting more, always more

A touch fulfills
yet creates more need
leaving a bigger hole

When you notice me
I want you to notice me more

When you are caring
I want you to take care of me

I want you to be me
I want you to be my adult who takes care of me

No words (untitled)

No words.
I have no words.
How can I capture in a poem
My love for you?

Mixed messages (untitled)

Mixed messages
Two people sending each other mixed messages
Confusion
Don't know what the other thinks
What's real?
Or is it all real in the moment,
reality changing moment to moment?

Mirror (untitled)

Mirror.
You are for me a mirror.
I look at you and see myself.
I learn about myself.
However,
I would like to look at you and see you.

I don't trust him (untitled)

I don't trust him.
I think he doesn't trust me.
We like each other.
But trust is limited.
I want to learn to trust him.
But at least I am learning
to trust myself.

My star in heaven (untitled)

my star in heaven
my angel
a sign for me
of goodness and beauty

I don't know how to put you into words (untitled)

I don't know how to put you into words.
I want to write a poem, and nothing comes.

If I could draw I'd paint a picture.
If I were a musician maybe I'd write a song.

But I'm a poet, and all I have are words.
Yet how can I capture you in words?

You overwhelm me (untitled)

You overwhelm me.
I don't know how to respond to you.
What is it you awaken in me?
Why do I like you so much.

Am I scared of myself?


(This poem is incomplete. The idea was more lines before the last line, but I didn't get back to it back then, and when I did I was no longer in the mental place to continue it.)